My Response to Faete

Well, I'm sorry you had trouble commenting, but look what a lovely post it turned into! ;)

I personally love the use of caps and lowercase for Doms and subs. As both a Dominant and a submissive, it does help me get into the right "head space" as you say. I also understand how lowercasing could be assumed to indicate a lack of self-worth to the outside world. But Ziggy lowercases himself all the time and he's doing okay - He has his own comic strip!

Seriously, though, I heartily agree that, though "no slave is greater than his master," a slave or submissive is not "less" than his/her Master or Dominant. And certainly lowercasing personal pronouns is not meant to communicate that. On the contrary, I think it is quite the opposite.

When a sub caps his/her Dominant, the intent is obviously to show respect. So, it's easy for people to believe (and this may be why the practice is falling out of favor with some) that lowercasing is a show of humiliation or scorn. But I see lowercasing as a very important way to respect a submissive's position. Whenever I'm communicating with a sub (as you well know, Faete!) I am always careful to notice if they lowercase themselves. If they do, I make sure I do the same. To do otherwise, to my mind, is an insult because it fails to recognize their honoured place as a submissive.

I believe that submissives and slaves are deserving of honour just as much as Dominants, Masters and Mistresses. This is indeed a Biblical concept, in that Christ demonstrated His authority by humbling Himself. His act of sacrificing His own life was the supreme act of submission, for which God has given him "a name that is above every name." He literally took on the cultural trappings of a slave in order to wash his disciples' feet and told them that the greatest anong them must be the slave of all. So, there is an exalted place for those in submission, a respect they are due.

Paul echoes this too in his words to wives, children and slaves in Ephesians, among other things. But, that's another post altogether. Pardon me as I get ahead of myself!

I can understand aesthetic objections and that such things may not be appropriate for public use. But I am very strict about it when I am in a Dominant position and very careful about it as a submissive because I see it as an underlying show of respect. It's like a way of encoding one's words with honour for the O/other.

So, though I might differ in my use of role-specific lowercasing and caps, I agree with the principles that drive your decision not to. A tiny thing, but a demonstration of the fact that people with the same values can often come to different conclusions. This is a lesson more Christians need to learn. :)

Now, all I need are some non-gendered English perssonal pronouns so I can stop doing the he/she, his/her bit all the time. That one really annoys me!

Thanks again for your thoughtful comment, Faete. Looking forward to your future thoughts!

Comment from Faete

A fellow YouTuber nemed Faete stopped by the other day and tried to leave a great comment on my post "S&M, D/s, M/s, B&D and BDSM" - a post which, in retrospect, should simply have been titled, "Terminology and Acronyms" or something. Anyway, her comment attempt was unsucessful, so she pasted it into an e-mail to me. I decided I would include it here as a post so that more readers would be likely to see it. I like what she has to say and I'll comment on it in my next post. By the way, her YouTube channel can be found HERE. Check it out. And now...Heeeeeere's Faete!
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Howdy! Me likey your blog. ;) It's going to take me some time to catch up on it all though! lol. :)

Anyway, I did want to chime in about the whole capitalization topic. Personally, I've never really liked the trend of submissives/slaves/bottoms/etc putting lower case initials or "i" instead of "I". To be honest, it just makes things clunky to read to me when I look and see a whole bunch of o/Our or u/Us or "i"s.

I know a lot of people use this to get themselves into the right headspace. And that's great if it works for them.

Personally though, I can see where the idea came from - and if used in the proper context I feel like it could be fun. For example, if Master wanted me to always do this when I was typing or writing to him, I would. However, I wouldn't write that way in a public forum because it insinuates that I see myself as lower in importance than the rest of the world.

I don't see BDSM like that. I don't see myself as less important than Master.. Just different. In the end, no matter if I like to be *treated* like I am worthless, or an object, or beneath him it doesn't mean I am. At the end of the day, we are both equals because without me being his slave, he would not be my Master. The same is obviously true vice versa.

So, that's my take on it. I'm Faete, not faete. I just wanted to throw that out there because I didn't see anything about *why* some people are getting away from that habit.

Cool blog! :) Keep the good posts coming. :)
Mew,
Faete
=^_^=

Dominance vs. Domination

I've touched on this before, but I want to re-emphasize something about the language I use when referring to the "Top" position. You will almost never hear me use the words "Dominate" or "Domination." Okay, you'll never hear anything here. You'll only read it. But that's beside the point.

Some years ago, I made an effort to alter my vocabulary and reject the word "Domination" in favor of "Dominance." To me, Domination implies something cruel and crushing. Particularly in the BDSM world, we get the mental image of the sleek black high heel of the Mistress' boot coming down on the poor slaveboy who is in agony - a picture of the power of pain. Domination is a term used in phrases like "World Domination," the dream of every megalomaniacal super villain. To me, it implies something that is taken by force through violence, without caring or love.

Of course, this is based on what I percieve to be the culturally-derrived implication of the word. In the dictionary, there is no real difference between "dominance" and "domination." In fact, dominance is referred to as something in the animal kingdom that is usually achieved by force. But in the human kingdom, for whatever reason, it seems to me that dominance is the gentler term.

The reason I favor this angle on things is because I think the best, truest Dominant earns their position and title. It is a role that comes with a great deal of responsibility and which must be based on and executed with love. Otherwise, there is little left to guard against abuse.

Most of the time, these men who lurk around online and in clubs with arrogant demeanors and floggers on their belts calling themseves "Master" this and "Master" that do not deserve such a title because they have not earned it. Beware of those who seek to Dominate what they do not love.

So, I encourage you, gentle reader - if you agree with me, please join my proverbial bandwagon of terminology rejection. It's a small thing but, in D/s, it's the little things that make all the difference.