"...the Son of Man came not to be served,
but to serve...

"...the Son of Man came not to be served, <br> but to serve...
...and to give His life as a ransom for many."
--Matthew 20:28

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dirty Babe...

Okay, I've been thinking about the lyrics to the Justin Timberlake song "Sexyback." Firstly, they're a great example of the appeal of sadomasochism, D/s, BDSM and fetishism in our culture. The reason? What are the lyrics everyone who is familiar with that song knows? Sing along, boys and girls:

Dirty babe,
You see these shackles, baby,
I'm your slave.
I'll let you whip me if I
misbehave.

Just like the popularity of Britney Spears' "I'm a Slave 4 U" a few years back was based in no small part on the fantasy of Britney as a sexy slave saying, "I really want to do what you want me to," the popularity of this particular part of the song reflects the attraction of the sexy slave image.

But I think it's interesting to note some subtleties in the lyrics. First, the opening line, "Dirty babe." It's true that much of the attraction of the sexy slave archetype comes from it being seen as "dirty" or "taboo." It's exciting for many people to take the risk of flirting wth what is often referred to as "the dark side" of sexuality. The idea of being risky and naughty can be fun and exciting.

Unfortunately, for many Christians, this causes kinky behaviours to be labeled as sinful or impermissible. This, of course, causes Christians to feel guilty for their interests in D/s, bondage and discipline. While I certainly dislike the idea of these things being seen as "bad" behaviours, it is also important to remember that it really is fun to feel a little naughty sometimes - and that's okay too!

The other line that I often think about is "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave." I can just see a Domme or Mistress standing over him looking quite annoyed and saying, "Oh, you'll let me whip you, will you? Well, how thoughtful!" All I can say is that a boy who talks like that deserves whatever he gets.

It's not the kind of thing any Master or Mistress wants to hear out of a slave's mouth. "I'll let you whip me" - what arrogance! The scene being painted here, however, is not one of serious slavery, but rather just flirting with ideas, archetypes and actions that are fun, sexy and risky. Many in the BDSM community would frown on this, saying he really doesn't deserve to be called a slave. They would say he isn't a "real" slave. Essentially, he's not "one of us."

Well, who cares? In reality, these things are fun to play with. They don't adhere to rules and are not about fitting in with the idiosyncratic notions of a particular subculture. We don't all need to be members of the BDSM cult. Some of us just want to have fun, exploring things relationally and sexually that excite and interest us. And there's no one who can tell us we can't.

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